Marshall mathers meets Uzumaki Naruto
by kiss-me-g'night
Summary: Cracked stories with naruto characters singing Eminem or songs featuring Eminem


**Kyuubi's Revenge**

**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto ( Though, I would have done a better job with Part II)**

Naruto and Hinata. A pair that defines the word opposites attract. Physics claimed this theory about magnetism, but nobody expected this to happen with people. No human was an exact opposite of another. However it was true with their case. Naruto was loud and an attention seeker. Hinata was quiet and shied away from Naruto. Naruto had light-coloured hair. Hinata had dark-coloured hair. They were many other opposite traits they shared. But, in the end, they did have certain traits in common. Their wanting to grow stronger, never give up on any challenge, and their undying love for each other. Yes, they were madly in love with each other. After all, as said before, opposites attract.

This pairing was greeted with great enthusiasm. Practically, every one of their aquantices had given their blessings. Except for the kunoichi's family, excluding Neji. But that was a different story. The other exception was the Nine- tailed fox, the Kyuubi no yoko. He hated his jailer. He would do anything to kill him. He wasn't going to be the one approving a relationship between his jailer and any girl. Although he did like the girl, out of every human he had met so far. But, his deep hatred for Naruto will never allow him to accept the pair.

That is why, whenever Naruto and Hinata had their intiate sessions, it would only make the fox grow impatient and enraged. This would make another chuckle. That another was the Yondaime Hokage, Minata Namikaze. It was strange that the Yondaime was also with the fox demon, but he had made sure his chakra would always stay attached with the demon's cage. He wanted to see son grow. He ofcourse wasn't into seeing all the nitty-gritty details, but the Kyuubi's reaction was hilarious. Naruto wasn't aware his father was still with the Kyuubi. He thought he had dissappeared when he had reset the seal which contained the fox in the whiskered ninja.

The 'intimate' sessions had caused Kyuubi to write a ...song? Yes, a song. To be more exact, a rap. He was currently trying to pursuade the Yondaime to rap along with him.

**"Fourth! Just sing these parts! I wrote them especially for you!" **the kitsune yelled.

"No way. Kyuubi, I will never utter these words." Minato retorted.

**"If you do, I promise to eat the minimum amount possible of the brat's chakra. You want your son alive and healthy for a long time, don't you?" **the deadly kitsune smirked. He had the Fourth where he wanted.

"Ugh. I give in. But this one time!" Minato relented.

Kyuubi grinned a sadistic grin, and using his chakra, let the music start...

_**Kyuubi: I am not Jasmine, I am Aladdin  
So far ahead, these bums is laggin'  
See me in that new thing, bums is gaggin'  
I'm startin' to feel like a dungeon dragon  
Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
I'm startin' to feel like a dungeon dragon  
Look at my show footage, how these girls be spazzin'  
So fuck I look like gettin' back to a has-been?  
Yeah, I said it, has-been  
Hang it up, flatscreen  
(Haha) Plasma  
Hey Foxy, hey Foxy, asthma  
I got the pumps, it ain't got medicine  
I got bars, Xenocin  
I'm a bad bitch, I'm a cunt  
And I'll kick that hoe, punt  
Forced trauma, blunt  
You play the back, bitch, I'm in the front  
You need a job, this ain't cuttin' it  
Foxy Kyuubi is who you ain't fuckin' with  
You li'l brag a lot, I beat you with a pad-a-lock  
I am a movie, camera block  
You outta work, I know it's tough  
But enough is enough**_

_**Background voice: Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Like a dungeon dragon, like a dungeon dragon**_

Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Like a dungeon dragon, like a dungeon dragon

_**Minato: I ain't into S&M, but my whip's off the chain  
A little drop of candy paint drips off the frame  
Twisted-ass mind, got a pretzel for a brain  
An eraser for a head, fuckin' pencil for a frame  
You don't like it then peel off, bitch  
Every last demon on Earth I'll kill off, and I still wouldn't fuck you, slut  
So wipe the smile on your grill off, I swear to God I'll piss a Happy Meal off  
Get the wheels turnin', spin, and wheel off  
Snap the axel in half, bust the tie-rod  
Quit hollerin' "Why, God?" He ain't got shit to do with it  
Bygones'll never be bygones, so won't be finished swallowin' my wad  
I ain't finished blowin' it, nice bra  
Hope it'll fit a tough titty, bitch  
Life's hard, I swear to God, life is a dumb demon white broad  
With fake tits and a bad tail job  
Who just spit in my fuckin' face and called me a fuckin' tightwad  
So finally I broke down and bought him an iPod  
And caught him stealin' my power, so I tied his arms and legs to the bed  
Set up the camera and pissed twice on him  
Look, two pees and a tripod!  
The moral to the story is, life's treatin' you like dry sod?  
Kick it back in its face, my God  
It's Flashy and Foxy Kyuubi, you might find the sight quite odd  
But don't ask why, bitch (Ask why not)**_

_**The wo-world is my punchin' bag and  
If I'm garbage, you're a bunch of maggots  
Make that face, go on, scrunch it up at me  
Show me the target so I can lunge and attack it**_

Like a, raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
You fell off, off, they musta bumped your wagon  
You musta went off the back, I'm 'bout to go off the deep end  
I told you to stay in your lane, you just choked in traffic

_**Kyuubi: (I-I-I-I-Is) Is this the thanks that I get for puttin' you bitches on?  
Is it my fault that all of you bitches gone?  
Shoulda sent a thank-you note, you little ho  
Now I'ma wrap your coffin with a bow  
(Fo-fo-fo) "Foxy, she's just mad 'cause you took the spot"  
Word, that bitch mad 'cause I took the spot?  
Well, bitch, if you ain't s-ittin', then get off the pot  
Got some niggas out in Brooklyn that'll off your top  
I-I-I-I hear them mumblin', I hear the cacklin'  
I got 'em scared, shook, panickin'  
Overseas, church, Vatican  
You at a stand, still, mannequin  
You wanna sleep on me? Overnight?  
I'm the motherfuckin' boss, overwrite  
And when I pull up, vroom, motorbike  
Now all my niggas gettin' bucked, overbite  
I see them dusty-ass Filas, Levi's  
Raggedy-ass, holes in your knee-highs  
I call the play, now do you see why?  
These bitches callin' me Manning, Eli  
(Manning, Eli!) Ma, ma-ma-ma-ma, Manning, Eli  
These bitches callin' me (Manning, Eli)**_

_**Minato: A-a-a-a-all you li'l faggots can suck it  
No home, but I'ma stick it to 'em like refrigerator magnets  
And I'm crooked enough to make straitjackets bend  
Yeah, look who's back again, bitch, keep actin' as if  
You have the same passion that I have  
Yeah, right, still hungry, my ass  
You assdicks had gastric bypass  
Ain't hot enough to set fire to dry grass  
And 'bout as violent as hair on eyelids (Eyelash!)  
Go take a flyin' leap of faith off a fuckin' balcony  
'Fore I shove a falcon wing up your fly ass  
You know what time it is, so why ask?  
When Flashy and Foxy's worlds clash  
It's (high class) meets (demon trash)**_  
_**  
Background voice: Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Like a dungeon dragon, like a dungeon dragon**_

Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Raah, raah, like a dungeon dragon  
Like a dungeon dragon, like a dungeon dragon

_**Kyuubi: Kyuubi! Kyuubi!  
Stop it, stop it!  
You've gone mad, mad, I tell you, mad!  
You and this boy Yellow Flashy!  
What's goin' on?  
They'll lock you away!  
They'll put you in a jail cell!  
I promise!  
Take the jubi's warning, Kyuubi  
Please  
Back to bed! Run along!  
Let's go! Come on!  
Wash your mouth out with soap, boys  
(Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, boys…) **_

Meanwhile...

Naruto thought he was in a trance. Did he just hear a rap in his mind? Which was rapped by voices extremely familiar to him. His father's and the ...Kyuubi's? Was it a genjutsu? He stopped his chakra flow. Nope, not a genjutsu. He stared at the sleeping goddess in his arms, and thought he must have been dreaming those voices. He brought her closer and kissed her neck, which immediately woke her up.

"N-Naruto? What's wrong?" she inquired, but she was extremely sleepy, so it didn't sound serious.

"Nothing. Just had a weird dream, I guess" he shrugged casually.

"Sure you don't want to tell me about it?" she asked, a bit worried.

"Positive. Now go back to your slumber, my sleeping beauty."

_fin_

A/N- Weird...eh? I got freaked out after re-reading this. Minato doing Eminem's part...freaked me out the most. Why do I even write all this shit? That is one question I'll never be able to answer. Also, the last bit, the fluff, I just felt like putting because I read a really sloppy NH- fanfic, which angered my NH-loving soul. It was like Naruto-no-baka at first didn't love our darling Hina-chan, but after one *ahem* night, he instantly loved her and then they started living together.-_- Seriously? Love is not supposed to be like that. It is more, complicated, yet so simple. Ah, dammit! I have no idea how to explain it.


End file.
